1. “There was an announcement made at the reception, after a couple of guests tried nomming the 8-bit heart soap favors on the tables. We were all quite amused that it took a couple of bites for someone to realize that the black-cherry scented soap was not for eating.”


  2. That is one of the saddest things I have ever read. A 10 year old kid settling the Frontier in 1860 could kick the shit out of that entire wedding party after a day of hard labor on the farm.


  3. His vows are basically saying: “Please please step on me so I don’t have to try to live standing up like a man would.”

    “I will strive to help you be what you wish to be, as best I can. I know it is not my place to tell you what to do, and I know you will treat me with a similar respect. That being said, neither of us is secretive with our opinions; I will do my best not to be too strident and I will trust you to do the same.

    “I will defend you as best I can. I cannot vow to defend you as I would myself, because I know that in your honor I will be less likely to show restraint. Help me to know when I have done enough, and try to understand that I mean no offense when I struggle to defend you from yourself. I will make every effort to know your mind and understand your thought. I will sometimes fail. But I ask that you forgive me, and know that I will continue to make the attempt. I will face each new day with you. I hope that we greet them all with the courage to face what comes, the power to overcome any obstacles, and the wisdom to pursue our happiness together. I, John Smith, knowingly and willingly take you, Megan Quinn, to be my lawfully wedded wife.”


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